The words you never want to hear told to you, “YOU HAVE BREAST CANCER”.


The night I got the phone call from my breast surgeon I remember  like it was yesterday. The phone call around 6:30 pm, I was standing in my kitchen with my husband Rick. My cell phone rang with a number I didn’t recognize, I knew it was the doctor. (Now why couldn’t this call be publishers clearing house saying, it your lucky day!! You just won the million dollar prize!! And the door bell rings and Ed McMahon is there with a GIANT check and balloons). Nope, defiantly not my lucky day… He said I have your biopsy results and they came back showing YOU HAVE CANCER.  I would need to have a breast MRI and a PET scan also to make another appointment with him to discuss my game plan. I don’t know about you but my game plan was to run, run as fast as I can, and don’t stop untill all of this madness goes away! After I hung up I melted into my husband arms balling. He knew what it was before I even had words for him. Rick hugged me and told me everything will be alright and we would get through it together. I don’t know how I would have gotten though all of this without him, he is amazing and always knows how to make me smile at times like this.That moment our lives changed forever. Thank god for my husband Rick at my side, with him we will fight, with him we will win this battle over cancer, with him I can do this! The next few days where a whirl wind, making appointments for scans calling people to give them the news and researching everything and anything on breast cancer. I was in shock at how many women this effected. And then it came to my mind I am now one of those women, a statistic you see on a chart or a commercial. (don’t become a stastic do x, y and z to prevent this, blah blah blah!) How could I have prevented this?How did this happen?? I am 36 years old, this happens to old women right?? (when I say old I am thinking like 75, don’t want anyone to be insulted lol). apparently young women do get breast cancer and do survive,I am going to be one of them! And so my adventure with cancer begins.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               Cancer is like a third person in your marriage. The problem is my husband and I are not about to let this cancer in the way of our “honeymoon” period ( we where only married a year at this point). This third person called “Cancer” was not welcome. The problem with it is you can’t tell it to take a hike, or to leave and come back  at a more convent time. It was here to stay for a while and make its presence known  for next 11 months of my life.   The next step in this process was the meeting with my breast specialist. I now have a giant chart with films ,eventually I will discover these will be a fixture under my arm at many appointments (do you think Coach or Michael Kors makes a holder for breast films?? because this folder clashes with my outfits lol).  My husband and I have a seat in the doctors personal office. To the left of us on a lighted box was the mamography of my right breast all lit up like a Christmas tree.  Except the little white dots where not twinkling lights, they where clusters of clarifications in three different locations in by breast. I keep wondering how strange this must be for my husband. I mean first he was there for the initial exam and biopsy (my husband was in the room for the breast exam, I don’t think he looked, but all I have to say for him is AWKWARD  lol) and now we are discussing what to do with my now very ill breast.  My initial reaction was mastectomy, take it off, get it out, I can live with one breast. My breasts and I  have been together since I was about 11 we can have an ambical divorce. Don’t get me wrong, my breasts and I  have had some good times, enjoyed the cleavage, some stares and on occasion a wonderful fitting Victoria Secret bra. However, it’s time for us to go our separate ways. In this divorce I get to keep my life and the other breast, she can have the cancer and the right breast, sounds like a good deal. Where are the divorce papers I am ready to sign??!!  I am ready to send this cancer packing!!!              The decision we ended up making was to have a lumpectomy because of my age. My surgeon felt this was the best way to go. He also told us because of the cancer I would no longer be able to have more children. My tumor was highly estrogen receptive and a pregnancy would cause the cancer to come back. All I kept thinking was thank god I had that ectopic pregnancy less than a year ago. For one, I would not have gotten the mammo done, two the estrogen would have caused the cancer to grown, and three how would my husband and I have dealt with a newborn and probably at that point stage four cancer.(I really believe everything happens for a reason.  At the time the ectopic pregnancy was tragic and we could not see a reason why it happened. We now know that loosing that pregnancy may have saved my life).  We then scheduled my lumpectomy for the next week and started to look for fertility doctor so we can have my eggs frozen hopefully in the future we can have our own children. I just remember feeling so incredibly overwhelmed with all of this. My reaction was to be in go mode, and as long as I keep moving my mind would be in a good place. The strange thing was from this experience  I have learned to be a calmer person. I learned how to relax and meditate. And I found something out about myself, I love spa music!! My ipod had become my new accessory accompanying me on many trips to the doctors and hospital, oooooooommmmmmmm!                                                                                                                                                                                       The day of the surgery of course I was nervous, anxious, worried. I dont think there are enough adjectives to express my feelings that morning. We got up at the crack of dawn and drove 25 min to the hospital out-patient area.It was a quite car ride. I was going over a check-list in my head, house cleaned (check), frozen meals in freezer (check), laundry done (check), purchased zip up bras and zip up sweat shirts (check). I was in shock that a lumpectomy was a out-patient procedure. I was like, I  don’thave a good enough cancer to be admitted?? Really??  Nope, quick surgery about an hour and a half. I woke up wondering how much less of a woman I would be now that they removed part of my right breast. It would now emerge my new name for my right breast….enter “Frakenboob”! (Yes I know it’s a sad name, but come on you must have a little fun, and I know most of you girls out there have names for your boobs so no poo pooing , mine is just ready for Halloween a little early this year lol). The good news what they only had to remove the sentinal lymph node and got all the cancer. After a few hours in recovery and stopping at Walgreens to get my pain meds I found myself proped up in my bed in a drug induced sleep.I had finally made it though the surgery! Next stop the journey though IVF to preserve my fertility. Im sure it will be a egg-cellent ride! get it fertility, egg, egg-cellent??


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