Another ride begins… next stop Jeresey Shore University Medical Center for surgery!! Woo,woo!!


Well, today was the day of my second biopsy. My breast has now become a pin cushion rather than a body part. I went at 8:30 am to have the dye injected into the area of where the marker was placed last week. This was so the cells could be removed more easily when the dye was placed. Once again I find myself face to face with that damn mammo machine, (I know a man invented it, and he MUST have had a true dislike for women lol). When they said they would be injecting dye into my breast while it was in the mammography machine,it just sent chills down my spine! My poor beaten and bruised breast would now be squished in that tourture device called a mammgraphy machine. To my surprising after last weeks biopsy it was not bad, a piece of cake, thank god! (plus mommy’s little helper, Valium was along for the ride lol). Still, my nerves are still rattled. I am giving it the old college try of being positive. I do find being positive is contagious and will hopefully rub of on my husband and others around me. I feel that it takes more energy to be negative then positive, so why not just go with it!

As I was sitting in the dressing area getting ready to leave a woman over heard me speaking to the tech about how I had found my first mass and what I have undergone since. She was in shock at my age that I already have had stage II BC , a hysterectomy and now possibly facing BC again. It goes to prove not many people are educated on who and how many young people get the evil “C” word. EDUCATION,EDUCATION, EDUCATION!!!! Check out this link for more education info:, also

Now, my poor husband, how I love him dearly for being my biggest cheer leader and trying to comfort me (sometimes also the biggest pain in the a** , but arent they all). I just feel incredibly guilty for him to be on on this roller coaster of a ride with me again ( now he does get motion sickness lol), it’s not fair to him, I know this is what marriage is about. However, I am disappointed to be dealing with this crap again and pushing his nerves to the brink. I guess god gives difficult things in life to only certin people, because in life if you don’t have what i takes to survive you will become more ill or just won’t make it. I know I am a fighter. But when people tell me i am strong I question that. What does it mean to be strong through out this??? Just because I have not curled up in a ball and are in the corner of a room balling?? (another topic for another time). Anyway, at this time in our lives we were supposed to be preparing ourselves to meet with the surrogate agency again to rent a uterus and freeze out our 8 little ice pops ( I prefer to use renting instead of using medical terms,makes me laugh every time lol I have nick name one of them Clair for eggclair ). And yes, I do send my husband a fathers day card from the frozen embroys,he only gets one because I would I cards would be nuts lol. Everything happens for a reason, im sure in a few weeks i will see what that reason is. I really want for him to be able to have his own biologic child. He already is so very close to my son and is an amazing stepfather, I can only imaging how he would be with his own children. I feel that many young women are not educated in the area of fertility who have cancer. I did my research and this is who I used. They are amazing,compassionate people at this facility. I am so happy I chose them to help with my future child.

This is Rick and I in Novemver 2008 just weeks after we where engaged. We are at Yankee Stadium on the field, a Yankee’s fan come true!! Go Yanks!!!

So my husband and I have time to kill before I go for the surgery. We decided to go have a good breakfast and pick my son up from home so he can join us. As we are driving home my son sends me a text message with the following picture of our big bad Pitbull Boomer(we rescued him right after my radiation to help me recover) and this was a much-needed good laugh!! I think Boomer figured everyone else in the house has a big bed, why can’t I?? He to is also one of the other loves of my life, besides Rick and Branden. This dog is the biggest “p” word there ever was! Afraid of his own shadow lol. If someone broke into my house I think he would assist them in carrying out the items for them lol.

This is the message I received with the photo:
Dear heather,
hey it’s me boomer woof woof.i thougnht that it was a good idea to wrap myself up with the blanket on the bed and relax. ps I farted in the bed and drooled on the pillow. Sorry about that.
from boomer

I love this picture of him so much. Now you can see why I am in puppy love lol.

After breakfast I take my much-needed Valium as the anxiety of the surgery isnbuilding inside me.  As we are driving back to the Hospital I am trying the meditate with my ipod on to spa music. I feel my husband grab my hand. That was the exact thing I needed at that moment, no words just the warmth of his has to let me
know it will be all right. He knows what I need at just the right time. Truly my husband is a wonderful guy ,(no I am not kissing a*s in case if he reads this 😉 , but if I was not married to him I would say the same thing,  A-M-A-Z-I-I-N-G is how I spell Rick.

My doctor comes out to the waiting room to get me. We hand over my 10 lbs of films and off we go to the surgical room. I have been in it 2 times before so I know what to expect. I get strapped on the table which is now tilted and my right arm over my head. I have my ipod in one ear so I can hear his instructions in the other. First 3 injections of novocaine  and let the cutting begin. The aroma from being curterized smells like burning hair, not bad but I don’t recommend Yankee candle creating this sent anytime soon. The procedure took about 20 mins and about another 17 shots of novocaine. The nurse said the doctor would call me thursday night with the new biopsy results. I was then stitched and wrapped up and sent on my merry way to drift off into my percocet induced sleep for the afternoon. As I did my superman of a husband took my son to the Pediatric  doctor, we now think he has pink eye (fantastic all I need now is swollen red eyes with stitches in my boob, perfect for Halloween but that’s 4 weeks away). Again as a family, as a whole we are a “hot mess” lol, but that’s ok I would not have it any other way because this is our path in life!

And to quote a favoriate move of mine, Old School and Will Ferrill our family will “keep on truckin!” To be continued.


About chemobrainandmore

My name is Heather and I am now 39 yrs old living at the Jersey shore. I was diagnosed Jan 2011 with stage II A breast cancer right after my 36th birthday. Sadly I was married for just a year at the time.I had four rounds of chemo 33 round of radiation a lumpectonly and MANY ,MANY biopsies. As if that was not enough I ended up having a total hysterectomy summer of 2012. And then this past July 2013 I under went a bilateral mastectomy and I am still under going reconstruction. I am a mom, a wife and a survivor! I have had more ups and downs then I have fingers and toes! But through it all I have had a smile on my face and try to laugh my way through it all. I have done two Strides Walk for breast cancer and I am extremely proud of how much I have raised ( I made pacesetter status!) I enjoy laughing and making people laugh, and if my blog can shed some light on cancer and make one person laugh at ,or with me ,then the fight has been worth it. Thank you for reading about my life and taking a ride with me on this journey. Feel free to reach out to me, I love being able to pay it forward and help others!

2 responses »

  1. I know that deep down this is truly tough shit that you’re going through but I really admire and love your approach and guts and balls and that you can still find time to laugh. Keep your head held high and that attitude and you will get through this.

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