Its amazing what a year makes. I am so happy to be in the festive spirit this year! Last year I was still recovering, well, from recovering. And getting back to work after being out for 11 months. It’s crazy how much energy I have this year, fervently decorating every corner in the house.
I just came in freezing my butt off from stringing up the likes outside. I am destined to become the female version of Clark Griswald. I have gone over the top with the outdoor lights. I think it’s because I truly feel like I am in remission now after meeting with my oncologist. Tomorrow will be the purchasing of the tree. I maybe purchasing the biggest one yet. LETS CELEBRATE LIFE!! Enjoy it now. To quote Ferris Bueller “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”. I AM NOT GONNA MISS ANOTHER DAMN MOMENT!!
There are so many things in my life I am thankful for. First I am thankful for finding out yesterday I do not need to have another surgery! What a wonderful feeling it is to be cancer free still. The past month has been enough to make me nuts! I will still be followed very closely but for now I am good.
I am beyond thankful for my wonderful husband Rick and my son Branden. Without their support over the past two years I don’t know what I would have done. Rick has an amazing way of making me laugh in the darkest of situations. He has a strength about him that I admire and can only hope that I too can be like that. My son has been through so much in his 12 years of life. I am so lucky to call myself his mother. He amazes me everyday with his views on things and what he plans to do as an adult. After many years of saying he wants to be an engineer he now surprised me with he wants to be a state trooper lol. He has an uncanny ability to be able to built amazing things out of kenix and programs on his computer. I love them both dearly, they are a part of me.
I am also thankful for my in-laws for welcoming us so warmly into their family. When both of your parents have pass on like mine have you feel as if your family is gone its really hard. But having my in-laws have changed all that. It is so wonderful to know that there is a family that loves you and accepts you. They have done so much for myself and Rick and for this I am truly grateful.
I am also grateful for my awesome friends who are there to support me and liston to my sick jokes. Without them I would have never found my breast cancer and would most likely be very ill today.
I have a lot again this year to be thankful for. I thank God everyday for what I have and who I am, I would not change one bit of any of it! (even the cancer)
As things here in Jersey get back to normal. I can’t help but reflect on how to really lucky myself and family are that we were spared by the storm. We lost power for about 10 days and only had a few branches down from trees and lost our gutters. This is minor compared to what others have lost. We live only about 3 miles from the beach and the devastation is on thinkable.
I am saddened by the fact that the places that I frequented as a child at the shore are no longer there. The many beach clubs in Sea bright my parents belong to as a child have been just swept away by the ocean. But at least I have the wonderful memories of those places.
Point Pleasant Board Walk
My husband and I would take drives along the shore when I was sick from the chemotherapy. I found that the salt air would soothe me as I went through treatment. And then after my hysterectomy I loved to sit in the Sun at and watch my son surf. My son was so so upset to see the roller coaster in Seaside protruding from the ocean. Every year at Easter we purchase books of tickets for the rides in Point Pleasant and Seaside. I don’t know what will be there this summer.
I know in due time it will all the repaired ,but I wonder what the New Jersey Shore look like .Would it have the charm of what once was there?? Or will it have an entirely new feeling? Either way I know it will have something still for me. I am a Jersey girl and we are strong people!
As my life as survivor of the but big C goes on I am once again on pins and needles about my appointments for a second opinion. Will I need another surgery? Will I have a mastectomy or a quadectomy? Who knows…
Having the MRI on Friday was not bad, I feel asleep in the machine who does that???lol So far the best MRI I have ever had by far. Now if the rest of this journey can be as easy. In a weird way I feel like I am cheating on my oncologist. I’ve been through so much with her and the staff it’s hard to break away from with similar to you. However, this is only a second opinion. And I meeting with both a oncologisy and a surgical breast oncologist.
The paperwork I have to fill out tonight was daunting, I felt like I was applying for college again. And we all know how that turned out lol. The sad thing was on the paperwork when they ask need a list on my surgeries I have had there wasn’t enough line space or me to list of them.
I am actually more scared now going to a The Cancer Institue of New Jersey at Robterwood Johnson then when I went to my oncologist the first time. I’m preparing myself to see what I can only imagine I had look like a year ago. At the time of treatment I never saw myself as being sick. Weird huh??? I always did my husband why didn’t anybody tell me I look like s*** ? Lol
So as my story goes tomorrow will be just another day of being poked and prodded and hopefully finding out exactly what is going on with me. Weither it will be nothing or it will be the back 2 the butcher shop for me.