Monthly Archives: May 2013

Unfortunately “M” stands for MORE tests…

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Monday I went through my ritual having my 6 month mammography. It started as all the other ones do getting undressed, making sure you have no deodorant on sitting and reading an old magazine and then being called to the back.

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Four simple pictures was all it took for me to realize that once again they found something on my mammography. The technician called me back because the doctor wanted two more views of where my former tumor was. I’m not going to lie but those two films hurt like hell!! I still want a man to expierance it just one time lol.I found myself sitting and waiting for about half an hour and then I was told to go back to the radiologist room. Once again I am faced with pictures of my breast all over the walls. I told the doctor they look like some kind of sick Andy Warhol creation. He then proceeded to point out the three sprinkle shaped calcifications that are perpendicular to my lympectomy scar. My heart once again sunk, because I knew what was in store for me. MRI? Stereotactic needle biopsy? Surgical biopsy? What will choice of tourture this time for my breast??

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                  (Nice cans!!)

I am now waiting to see a new Breast surgeon but not for a couple of weeks. I am staying strong and positive but when is enough a enough? I just had two biopsys six months ago. Is this common every time I have a follow up biopsy to find something? I know my doctors where interested in seeing if there where changes this time around since my two biopsy yielded results of atypia cells.

I will once again play the waiting game, hoping and praying for the best

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M is for Mammo and Monday..

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Its that time again! YES, you guessed it, 6 month mammogram time this Monday! How time fly’s when your waiting on bated breath to see if your cancer free for another six months. Oh the joy of once again having my girls manhandled by at least 3 people with in an hour. GOOD TIMES! M is not only for mammo and Monday, its also for muscle. I will some how muscle my way through the physical and mental pain of it all !!

Usually the follow up mammos are no biggie. I go in chat with the women in the breast center about what’s been going on since I saw them last( they are like family),but after a cluster of calcifications bring discovered under my former tumor site had me a bit on edge. I mean I cringe at the thought of more biopsys. My poor boob has been poked and pricked more then a seamstress’s pin cushion! I just know the night before will be full of anxiety. Hopefully my next post will be a great follow up and the letter “m” will stand for magnificent results!!

Why I am the luckiest mother!

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I know its mothers day and our children are making cards and gifts to show their appreciation for what we do through out the year.

I want to do the reverse,and thank my son Branden for the blessing of me being his mom.

I know every mom thinks their kid is the best and special. But with my child, there are not  enough words in the English language to express my feelings about him.

When you where born, I fell in love with you! You have always had an amazing giggle that makes me laugh. And speaking of laughing you have my sense of humor ( I pride myself on that!). You can build amazing things out of the simplest things. And figure out any tech gadget there is!

You have not always had it easy in your 13 years of life…my divorce at the age of 4,your poppy passing, and me having breast cancer. Through it all you have been strong, brilliant, a joy and most of all the best son anyone could have wished for.

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Thank you for taking care of me at my lowest of lows and making me smile. You are my special child, and just by doing that you have made ME the luckiest mother!!

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Its been a while…but I have been busy.

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Sorry it has been such a long time since I have posted. Since then I have been back to work(oh joy) and catching every germ that seems to be going around!!! Has this happened to anyone else in remission? Please someone tell me they have had this same issue!!

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My immune system seems to have taken a vacation on me and I am the one suffering for it!!(I am the one that needs a damn vacation!!) I have been on 6 antibiotics in 9 weeks, three ear infections and the rest repertory infections. WHAT THE HELL!! I thought I was over being sick!! Needless to say the antibiotics have ben recking havoc on my intestines (too bad its not helping me loose weight!!LOL) I had a visit to the ENT, had a CT scan of my head (surprisingly I do have a fully function brain, however does not always feel that way with the memory loss with the chemo and hysterectomy, but I was shown YES I have a brain lol.) Thank god nothing there blocking anything in my ear or sinus. So for now its wait and see and deal with my crappy immune system. I actually bought the Nutra Bullet and have been forcing down my veggies and fruit that way, with the hope it will help me get better. Its actually pretty good and I do enjoy some of my concoctions, but they almost always come out looking like sludge!!

OHHH NOOOOO!!!

Now my next adventure. I have my 6 month mammography next Monday. OH WHAT A PLEASURE IM SURE IT WILL BE!!! I am usually not nervous but this one…well lets just say its making me a little batty. After my scare in October with the two biopsy’s I am worried there will be something else there. Does one ever stop worrying??? I am sure my breasts will have some type of surprise in store for me, I just know it.

I tell myself positive thoughts, positive thoughts. I know I will get though this one just like I do the others. I guess what does not kill you only makes you stronger. That is defiantly the case with this chick!!!

Cancer didn’t kill me, it just makes me want to keep on fighting more!!