All clear…for now

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Just a quick update. I received my MRI results. As of now it shows a small nodule, possibly a hemangioma. Nothing to do for now, thank god!!! Follow up MRI in three months to see if it has increased in size. If it does then a biopsy would be required.

Now its time to focus on preparing for the mastectomy. 9 days to go…

Today I actually had a break down at work and started balling!! I feel so stupid, but it did make me realize I try to put up a strong front for everyone else. I think all of the emotions of three years of tests, scans, lumpectomy, hysterectomy and now the mastectomy have mentally caught up to me. I try to be positive no matter what. I try to make jokes about what I am going through. I think I just need to let myself breath, and accept the pain I am starting to feel…

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About chemobrainandmore

My name is Heather and I am now 39 yrs old living at the Jersey shore. I was diagnosed Jan 2011 with stage II A breast cancer right after my 36th birthday. Sadly I was married for just a year at the time.I had four rounds of chemo 33 round of radiation a lumpectonly and MANY ,MANY biopsies. As if that was not enough I ended up having a total hysterectomy summer of 2012. And then this past July 2013 I under went a bilateral mastectomy and I am still under going reconstruction. I am a mom, a wife and a survivor! I have had more ups and downs then I have fingers and toes! But through it all I have had a smile on my face and try to laugh my way through it all. I have done two Strides Walk for breast cancer and I am extremely proud of how much I have raised ( I made pacesetter status!) I enjoy laughing and making people laugh, and if my blog can shed some light on cancer and make one person laugh at ,or with me ,then the fight has been worth it. Thank you for reading about my life and taking a ride with me on this journey. Feel free to reach out to me, I love being able to pay it forward and help others!

4 responses »

  1. Gosh, I so feel your pain. I also was “ok” until the weekend before my double mastectomy. All of a sudden it all hit me. I posted it on my blog dated sometime before Sept 19 2011…the realization blog was called “silently” – check it
    out and see it that is what you are thinking/feeling…you know what ? once the surgery and the beginning of reconstruction are behind you – it gets easier. with each new step you take, and you get through, it REALLY gets easier. Anglie Jolie aside, it is a long and hard process, but you get through it. Just likeyou did chemo !

    • Laura thank you again for the support. I really apperciate you commenting. I am going to read that post. It is nice to know I am not crazy and its normal what I am feeling. The funny thing is I don’t know what I should feel. Its hard because everyone keeps saying I will be OK. I just needed a good cry to mourn and say its not OK that I’m dealing with the big C again. Try again

      • You are right. At the end if the day – it’s not ok and it sucks. All the way around. I think the thing that really changed my perspective on breast reconstruction, nipples – or none, how important I looked and felt about myself, all came to a sudden stop when two if my friends died from my type of breast cancer. They were younger and I all if a sudden got a look at the big picture. It didn’t make any of my stuff suck any less. But I certainly gained perspective ! I am sorry you are even going through this. The daunting reality is that it is cancer and some of us lose out breasts – and some of us lose our lives. They need to find a cure – and fast! Hang tough and keep blogging. Your sense of humor is great.

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