I Just want to be..


As I sit on the eve of my fourth fill of my expanders,I feel like I just want to break out! By that I mean I don’t want to feel like life is passing me by. I want to have fun!

Let’s hop a plane to Vagas on a whim.

Get in my car and drive, drive as far as I can go on a tank of gas! Or color my hair blue or purple, or heck shave it into a mullet again lol!


Business in the front, party in the back!

Rent a Ferrari and go really, really fast with the windows down with the wind blowing in my hair( I have really long chemo curls now that probably would knot up from the wind,but who cares its a Ferrari! lol) .

I just want to break out of this little box I’m living in. Have no pain, no worries, no bills, no doctor appointments for a day. I want to forget that I am someone’s patient, a statistic a work in progress.

I just want to be….and have fun!


About chemobrainandmore

My name is Heather and I am now 39 yrs old living at the Jersey shore. I was diagnosed Jan 2011 with stage II A breast cancer right after my 36th birthday. Sadly I was married for just a year at the time.I had four rounds of chemo 33 round of radiation a lumpectonly and MANY ,MANY biopsies. As if that was not enough I ended up having a total hysterectomy summer of 2012. And then this past July 2013 I under went a bilateral mastectomy and I am still under going reconstruction. I am a mom, a wife and a survivor! I have had more ups and downs then I have fingers and toes! But through it all I have had a smile on my face and try to laugh my way through it all. I have done two Strides Walk for breast cancer and I am extremely proud of how much I have raised ( I made pacesetter status!) I enjoy laughing and making people laugh, and if my blog can shed some light on cancer and make one person laugh at ,or with me ,then the fight has been worth it. Thank you for reading about my life and taking a ride with me on this journey. Feel free to reach out to me, I love being able to pay it forward and help others!

9 responses »

  1. Do it!!! As soon as my treatment is resolved, I’m getting a tattoo! I’ve wanted one forever and have always said no because it wouldn’t be good for me. Well I did everything I was supposed to and I STILL GOT CANCER! So screw it! I’m getting a tattoo!


    • Go for it!!! I got one when I was 19 its dolphins around my ankle…now at 38 they look like fetus salmon!!! And i am very happy I didnt get them around my belly button, because now they would be whales!! Its better you waited lol I want to get a cover up that says something like survivor. I think F U cancer on my ankle would not be appropriate lol
      However I can go to Vegas AND get the cover up!!! VEGAS BABY!!!!! ALL the way!!

      Def get that tat when your done treating. No regrets!!

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