This is my “Oprah’s” ah ha moment (lol). Funny enough this has come to me watching Ophra interview Robin Thicke. I promise there will be no twirking here ;).
I finally have come to the conclusion that the purpose for all my trials and pains, is to share everything and to comfort others. I already work in a industry where empathy is huge, listening is a must and explaining things in a terminology where the lay person can understand is necessary( a huge part of my job is customer service and medical terminology ). And I am now doing this for my friends. One who had a mastectomy six weeks after me, and for another friend who is preparing to endure her mastectomy in a few weeks. I guess right now my new title to go along with mother, wife, cancer patient, survivor is now and mentor. I love sharing…helping…getting to the level with that person where you two truly are the only ones who get it. </em
” I enjoy hearing about other peoples shit… because it makes my own shit not seem so bad!”
I truly have always believed there is a reason things happen to people, nothing is just a coincidence. Sometimes you can’t see in that moment why this is happening to me? What did I do to deserve this? How am I going to survive??
The thing that has impacted me most was my ectopic pregnancy. It was heart wrenching when it happened…actually more then heart wrenching, it was the lowest of a low feeling two people could ever have. Why us? Why now?
It was a whirl wind. All in three weeks I go from pregnant, to being told I’m miscarrying. I was actually misdiagnosed! I had an ectopic pregnancy. I was rushed to surgery because I was bleeding out from a ruptured fallopian tube. All of this I mind you happened 8 months before my breast cancer diagnosis (see where I’m going with this?).
A year later the ectopic pregnancy saved my life. If the pregnancy continued I would have never gotten my mammo when I did. And my tumor was 98% estrogen receptor positive, that in turn would have caused my tumor to grow. So, at the time I would have given birth I could have been stage 4 or it possibly could have spread. I can’t imagine how my poor husband would have cared for a newborn and a cancer ridden wife.
With all that being said, I feel sharing all my “adventures in cancer” need to be told. I want to share because I care, so others can learn from what I have been through. I want my negatives to be turned into positives! And my struggles into stories of survival to share with my sisters!