As you know I started by Etsy shop ShoreSerenity. I am happy to say as a survivor I am honored to show case my Eternity Breast Cancer Bracelets. They are for supporters, us who have fought and for remembering those who have lost their battle. The link to them in my shop if you would like to purchase . http://www.etsy.com/listing/247731220
My shop link is http://www.etsy.com/shop/ShoreSerenity
I also have not given an update in a few weeks. I am now 5 weeks out from the revision of my reconstruction. Pretty much meaning I had a VERY painful lift!! It is as painful as the mastectomy. I had the drains back in for two weeks. Come on ladies how much do we LOVE those fantastic drains, that no matter how you try to hide the you look pregnant!!! Lol
Now I have another surgery coming up, kinda nip and tuck if you will to even my girls out. I know they will never be “normal”, I just want them to me my normal. And the CHERRY on top nipples! YES, the big Nip is coming. I was only going to tattoo them on but the further out I get from the big C I want to reconstruct them. Dr is not thrilled because blood flow from radiated side might not be great but he said he won’t tell me no. I have to say my Plastic Surgeon is a Saint! He has the patience of one and just listens to your ideas.
Oh and I forgot to post, IM FOUR YEARS IN REMISSION THIS MONTH! Things are on the up swing for now!
Well, it’s finally here!! My consultation for my mastectomy reconstruction and nipple reconstruction is tomorrow. Yes, once again more surgery. At this point I’ve stopped counting lol. It’s been well over a year I had my implants placed, now it’s time to tune them up!
I approach this with joy, excitement and fear. Excitement to be “complete”, joy to be moving on with this and fear of the unknown. How will I look? Will I be happy? And of course how much will it hurt? All I know there is something in me that says now is the right time. I want to feel whole again. I know the fear of cancer will always linger but finishing this process will help me have some closure to the cancer chapter in my life, and allow me to open a new chapter…life after cancer, being a survivor!
This is an amazing video that was sent to me by one of my friends. This brought tears to my eyes because I see myself in this woman. Everything in this really puts breast reconstruction into prospective for those people who just don’t get the epidemic of us that struggle to be “normal” after having a mastectomy. And I totally get the awkward looks you get when you say you have no nipples, I now tell people for shock value lmao, hell if you can’t laugh at yourself and keep fighting, it makes this journey even longer!
I have a feeling I maybe taking a road trip to Maryland with my girls after my next surgery for crabs and a “Vinny”!!!! Enjoy!!
(This is not a tatt from Vinny , I just thought it was appropriate 🙂
What is normal after having two bouts of cancer?? Are you ever the same again? How do you get from here to there? These are some questions I’ve been asking myself.
First step is finishing up physical therapy. Unfortunately I go three times a week, I had no strength in my arms. But I’ve made great strides, but some how I don’t think I will be entering in any power lifting contests anytime soon! I have I also lost 40 pounds by juicing, eating organic, cutting out red meat and ALL sugar/sugar substitutes in the hopes of becoming healthier and stronger. I don’t EVER want to be sick again!!!!!!!
Next, mentally preparing to go back to work. I am nervous but excited at the same time. I can’t wait to see all my friends that have been a huge support this time around. The “chemobrain” from three years ago STILL lingers, and is aggravated by the menopause, Femora and stress. It’s beyond frustrating and embarrassing. I know I ask my husband four, five times a day the same question! How am I going to manage at work with the memory issues??? I guess I’ll be headed to Costco for a case of post it’s! The other thing about work is I know the second I see people that I have not seen since the mastectomy I know their eyes will be looking at the “new” girls. Do I first say to them ” hey I’m up here! It’s just something uncomfortable I’ve been noticing people do since the surgery. I may just stick one of those post it’s on my chest and write on it ” hey, eyes up here!!”.
Wish me luck this week, for it’s off to work I go to begin my “new” normal!
Last week I got an A+ from my PS Dr. Assad on healing. He really did a beautiful job. He was very happy with how the radiated side is doing. So I had my stitches removed, I didn’t feel a thing! I have purchased silicone strips to cover the incisions to help them heal. I even put them on where the drains where, for some reason they are very red but not infected. So next visit four weeks. I do have to keep a compression bra on and I have a lump we believe is scar tissue that we have been watching since I had the expanders in. I got these great bras called Barely There at my fav store Kohl’s. The form to your body and no wires. They kinda fit like sports bra so very comfy to sleep in and great if you have a low cut blouse and need to cover the cleavage.
Now the not so fun news. Tomorrow I have a MRI of my liver. Yes, it’s that time to check out the supposed hemangioma we discovered in May when I had all my scans for the mastectomy. I hope my favorite tech is there! He gets my IV on the first shot every time! Last time I was able to meditate so well I fell asleep in it! I do hate having them done but thats a part of my life now. I just know eventually I will start glowing!! Now the other thing I’m still in a lot of pain and if I could sleep all day I would. Anyone else have this? I know I have been beat up physically pretty bad (and mentally)for the past three years, I just don’t know if my body has just finally had it and needs to regenerate. I finally decided to talk to a professional because “perky” me is showing major signs of depression. I almost felt bad asking for help because I’m always told how strong I’ve been, but I guess it also takes a strong person to ask for help too!
So now that we are somewhat physically on track it’s time to get my mind on track. I just keep questioning why the first time around I didn’t feel like this. Why this time? It’s weird how trauma hits you at different times in your life.
They have finally arrived in all their glory! My twin girls, they weighed in at a hefty 900cc each,about 6 inches long born at 8:30 am. My husband and I are so proud. Sadly the proud father was not there to see the birth, in this case we will defiantly make an exception. The only thing is they have been keeping me up at night. I know that should be expected with newborns. Oh, we still don’t have any names, so we are up for suggestions!
But seriously the surgery went well. I had some breathing issues in post op so I had a nice cough that made the implants feel like knifes in me. This surgery was easier then the last, however I am in pain (especially my right side) and very,very sleepy. Truthfully I’m not feeling up to doing much. I am back to sleeping on my back, which I totally hate. And I have a new appreciation for prunes as a whole fruit. I finished off a bag in two days! That damn anesthesia gets me every time but this time I was prepared. Armed with Colace and bags of prunes lol.(note to self add bag of prunes to mastectomy must haves)
My PS did have to break up the capsule that formed from the scar tissue on my radiated breast. He said he had to open it by cutting it long ways, then making little cuts so it will hopefully open up and expand to match the left side. I will need another surgery for fat transfer for my cleavage. I can only describe the area there as being hollow looking. I know they will not be perfect, I just want my new normal. I wish that and the nipple could be done right away so I can mentally get through this. But I know I need to be patient, Rome was not built in a day and apparently either will my boobs!!
Well today is the day that I am having the c-section for my twins! (don’t know if they are boys are girls yet !) Really I’m getting my brand new perky magical new breasts! Remember those magical breasts that I talked about many, many blogs ago? These are the ones that would never need a bra and would look fantastic in everything that I wore? Yes those breasts!! Oh and let’s not forget these the most important thing is they are cancer free!
A little nail art to welcome the twins!
I am entering into the surgery with anxiety, some fear, but especially excitement to see how I’m going to look after all it’s over. Its time to close this chapter in “Heather’s Breast Cancer Shenanigans and Surprises”. 🙂
YES I DID!!