As you can see I have not written in a while. My bubbly spirt and loud laugh was squashed by bad news. Can you believe i have been denied,yes denied long term disability??????? WTF????? Let me get this right… I’ve had both breast lobbed off with weekly injections into expanders that where placed under my chest muscles. Oh and I’ve had radiation and several lumpectomies and biopsies on my right breast which has caused A LOT of painful scar tissue. And not to mention I am in constant pain, sitting, standing, walking,sleeping, hell even sneezing!!! I am also still on oxy and flexerils for the wonderful Charlie horses I get in the expanding muscles. And I am not disabled enough for them?I don’t leave my house cause of the pain. I don’t drive because of the drugs, but I’m ok to work a high stress fast paced job???? Not to mention there is a zero tolerance drug environment I work in. Has this left you scratching your head yet?
I was denied last week, and my next surgery is February 20th. Who made these people in charge of my pay, job, and benefits!!! I am beyond anxious and depressed. This is just what I need at one of the worst times in my life. My mind is in over drive and I am in panic mode. I have not been paid in two months!!! And I mind you I reported this disability to the ins co the first week of December. And it took them this long, the second week of Feb to contact me and deny it after iasked if ihad to gather information from my doctors. They said no it’s their job to gather it. I say HORSE SHIT!!! People need to be held accountable , I need some justice to put my mind at ease. No one messes with me and my family. I’m a survivor of cancer, you can’t bring me down any lower then where I have already gone. And let us not forget I beat the hell out of cancer!!! I fight like a girl.
However I never take things sitting down. God bless ACS!!!! I reached out to them and in turn got a wonderful Patient Advocate who I can rely on for answers and guidance. ACS also put me in contact with their legal department. Truthfully I will go as far as contacting the media on this. There’s nothing better then a story of a young breast cancer patient being denied disability right in the middle of treatment!!!!!
Wish me luck in the days ahead! I apologize for not responding to comments and thank you for my blog nomination(I promise I will get to it). Thank you all for letting me have a good rant 🙂 I may not do it often here but I really just need to let it out and recharge my mental battery. I promise next blog will be positive! Actually there is a positive, the date of my csection of my twins( it’s the exchange for my implants) I like to think of it as my new breasts birthday, February 20th!
I received a a book called “Words That Matter” by the Oprah Magazine. This quote is about the truth of ones body, it really struck a cord with me. Enjoy!
“I look at my very imperfect body and see its patches of history, like stamps on a passport. The stamps aren’t the kind of thing that would make me throw off my towel at the gym or be the first to jump naked into a lake. But like a good story, they remind me of where I been, and the annoying and endearing people I’ve met along the way.” – Betsy Carter
My body maybe in a state of transformation right now, and I accept that. I have many, many scars to show for the battles I have fought and won. I wear them as my metals of honor, because they are mine, I own them. The scars will always be there to remind me that I am stronger then I think! And no matter what life challenges are out there waiting for me, I can look at those scars and say, “I’ve got this!“.
Well I know I haven’t updated on my reconstruction status in a week or so. Last week I only did 25 cc’s and now unfortunately I’m getting filled every other week.( The week off is my gift lol) I’m now in the home stretch now I have three to four more fills to go!
With all that being said, I’m still in a lot of pain. Not so much my left side, its the right side The fills are getting harder to to take. I think it’s because of the previous radiation and the fact that there is not much room left in the boob region. However, I am able now to go without my bra stuffers! I actually somewhat have boobs now! They are more or less shaped like a whoopie cushion, mine don’t make noise when you squeeze them!
Hey! That’s an idea, to have squeekers in the expanders, kind of dog toys lol. That would be great, so at all the follow up appointments my girls would get a little squeak!
Anyone up for squeakers in your expanders?!?! Lol
Well I made I through the big surgery, approx 7 hours in the operating room. I also spent an extra night in the hospital due to pain control. I’m not gonna lie i was brought to tears twice in the first 12 hours because it hurt so much. It is defiantly no cake walk by any means!!!. Nothing in life that is worth anything, is not without some pain!
Today I get to shower!!!! I didn’t think showering would be such a big deal!!
P.S. NO CANCER!!!!!!!! My pathology report was clear!!!!!!
Sorry it has been such a long time since I have posted. Since then I have been back to work(oh joy) and catching every germ that seems to be going around!!! Has this happened to anyone else in remission? Please someone tell me they have had this same issue!!
My immune system seems to have taken a vacation on me and I am the one suffering for it!!(I am the one that needs a damn vacation!!) I have been on 6 antibiotics in 9 weeks, three ear infections and the rest repertory infections. WHAT THE HELL!! I thought I was over being sick!! Needless to say the antibiotics have ben recking havoc on my intestines (too bad its not helping me loose weight!!LOL) I had a visit to the ENT, had a CT scan of my head (surprisingly I do have a fully function brain, however does not always feel that way with the memory loss with the chemo and hysterectomy, but I was shown YES I have a brain lol.) Thank god nothing there blocking anything in my ear or sinus. So for now its wait and see and deal with my crappy immune system. I actually bought the Nutra Bullet and have been forcing down my veggies and fruit that way, with the hope it will help me get better. Its actually pretty good and I do enjoy some of my concoctions, but they almost always come out looking like sludge!!
Now my next adventure. I have my 6 month mammography next Monday. OH WHAT A PLEASURE IM SURE IT WILL BE!!! I am usually not nervous but this one…well lets just say its making me a little batty. After my scare in October with the two biopsy’s I am worried there will be something else there. Does one ever stop worrying??? I am sure my breasts will have some type of surprise in store for me, I just know it.
I tell myself positive thoughts, positive thoughts. I know I will get though this one just like I do the others. I guess what does not kill you only makes you stronger. That is defiantly the case with this chick!!!
Cancer didn’t kill me, it just makes me want to keep on fighting more!!
Its amazing what a year makes. I am so happy to be in the festive spirit this year! Last year I was still recovering, well, from recovering. And getting back to work after being out for 11 months. It’s crazy how much energy I have this year, fervently decorating every corner in the house.
I just came in freezing my butt off from stringing up the likes outside. I am destined to become the female version of Clark Griswald. I have gone over the top with the outdoor lights. I think it’s because I truly feel like I am in remission now after meeting with my oncologist. Tomorrow will be the purchasing of the tree. I maybe purchasing the biggest one yet. LETS CELEBRATE LIFE!! Enjoy it now. To quote Ferris Bueller “Life moves pretty fast. You don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it”. I AM NOT GONNA MISS ANOTHER DAMN MOMENT!!