Tag Archives: friends

Beware…Creative Juices at work!


As I recover in my medical recliner from my recent reconstruction. ( and man is this one rough!) I still can’t pull myself up, open door or really stand for too long before the pain stars in. So I am revising my Etsy store to keep me sane, nothing like fixing pictures and titles to get my mind moving! Here is my address to my store, check it out and let me know how you like it! 




Reconstructing the reconstruction, surgery time again tomorrow!



Well yes, it’s that time again we all love, preparing for surgery. Somehow I end up having one major surgery for each of the past five years! Now it finally time to fix up my girls! I’m now a pro at this by now!

It’s been a year and a half since my implants where put in. Things have settled and I’ve lost weight. My right side keeps contracting making my left side 3 sizes bigger. We are hoping with this revision it will help it not look so much bigger.

So this apparently is pretty painful… PLEASE! I’ve been down this road before I can handle it! They will be creating pockets on my chest wall and placing the implants in them to prevent them from being so moble. Let’s not forget I’m a large girl, my implants are 900cc, it take a village to hold my girls up lol. And let’s not forget the part we all love the most…the drains!! Yes for two weeks I will be battling these lovelys. Let the measuring begin!

So I’ve gone over my own list of ” mastectomy must haves”, knitting needle, dry shampoo, chair, good ol Poocharoo and of course the wonderful care from my husband rick. Everything seems to be set for 7:30am surgery tomorrow. 

Just trying to relax today an not worry about the three house surgery. I know I will wake up a new person, just in a little more pain then when I went to sleep.

Another major thing happening is, our deposit is down for our gestational carrier!! Hopefully by the time my twins are healed, we could actually be expect another set of twins, babies!! Positive thoughts for both out comes! 😁



We’ll it my week to celebrate 3 yrs in remission and counting! I’m half way there!! 5 is the Magic number and hell YES!!! I am gonna make it. I’ve come too far and fought to hard not to! Life is good, it’s different now, but still good! I’m so grateful for being here and living life!!

What do nipple tattoos and crabs have in common??


This is an amazing video that was sent to me by one of my friends. This brought tears to my eyes because I see myself in this woman. Everything in this really puts breast reconstruction into prospective for those people who just don’t get the epidemic of us that struggle to be “normal” after having a mastectomy. And I totally get the awkward looks you get when you say you have no nipples, I now tell people for shock value lmao, hell if you can’t laugh at yourself and keep fighting, it makes this journey even longer!

I have a feeling I maybe taking a road trip to Maryland with my girls after my next surgery for crabs and a “Vinny”!!!! Enjoy!!



(This is not a tatt from Vinny , I just thought it was appropriate 🙂

Some where over the rainbow…



In the next few days I will be having my reconstruction to get my new girls, that is what’s for me over my rainbow. Or should I say rainbows since I have two boobs?? Yep! They are my pot of gold after this storm of cancer ripped through my life lol. I mean don’t get me wrong, a pot of gold would be amazingright now with me appealing my denied disability. But for now I will take a brand new set of perky boobs! Oh how I have longed for this day.

I hope you enjoy this version of this song. I first heard it on a episode of ER when Dr. Green had died ironically of cancerous brain tumor( fantastic tv show, god how I miss it). Any way I LOVE this song, so calming and happy.

sometimes out of the darkest clouds, the hardest of rain and worst of storms come the most beautiful of rainbows!

Now that I have three days to surgery I’m looking for positive songs to play and keep up beat. I do love my 80’s hair bands and the grunge of my last years in high school and college. What songs make you happy and keep you positive?

So what’s on the agenda??


Its been so nice having a break from having my girls filled! Four weeks of not being a pin cousin, a-m-a-z-i-n-g! Consider it a physical vacation without actually physically going any where.

Next week starts up the visits again. Tue gyn I missed my annual exam. I know shame on me but when I was due When I had my mastectomy done. I’m sure my doc will forgive me. Next week also brings my appt with my PS. Hopefully I will select the type of implants! Its kinda like waiting for Christmas again! It also brings lots of anxiety knowing the next surgery is looming. I hate when I am told ” you should be happy, your almost done”. Oh yea! Well I think you should s@#%w yourself, how you like that!! I know people mean well but sometimes things are better left unsaid.

Its scary to face yet another surgery. I can count on both hands how many times I have been in surgery. The ride there is the worst. I know this is not “supposed” to be as bad as the mastectomy, but I get chills thinking about the horrific pain I was in. Its not like labor where you forget, that memory is burned into my brain forever!

Also the week after next I see my surgical oncologist. Then my medical oncologist for my infusion of Reclast. I was due in August but couldn’t do. I <emHATEthis infusion. Its for my bones because I’ve had the hysterectomy and I am on Femera, they don’t want me to get bone loss. This infusion hurts my entire body. My bones just ache for days. Last time I had it I was in bed for 5 days. Hopefully it won’t be so bad.

Wish me luck!


Guess what Santa is bringing me this year??? The hint is twins!


YES, Virgina there is a Santa Clause!!


Check out my BC ornament another survivor made me

And this Christmas he is giving me the gift of “new girls”! Ahhhh yes!!!! The gift that will be the kind that keeps on giving. “Why is that?”, you may ask? Well, the first thing is no matter what I am doing, walking, sitting, standing, sleeping or especially getting dressed I am in pain of some kind. Its the scar tissue on my right side, its a thorn in my side. Or in my case my breast lol. I am constantly reminded that I have had the big C. Just when I feel “normal” for a bit, I either move the wrong way or look in the mirror and I am reminded there is a different “normal”.

Now, the next thing is the positive about having breast cancer! Yes, yes,YES…there are positives to having cancer you just have to look really hard, but they are there. Take this example; my first go around with the big C I had chemo, now that sucked! Your probability thinking, “there is a positive about chemo”,? YES there is! I now have thick, long, curly hair! The
kind that if it was 1987 I could rock out big time with my big Jersey hair and a can of Aqua Net, look out Bon Jovi here I come!! God how I miss the 80’s lol , such a great decade.

The next positive came with this second bout with the big C. My new BFF’s , aka breasts and they defy gravity! Yes!! I have new, perky, magical boobs! Now, now! Don’t be jealous, remember I three year battle to get these babies. Unfortunately I got them the way you don’t want to receive new breasts, but what the hell I’ll take em. Also, I am proud of what I have, and more importantly I am blessed to be a cancer survivor!

Oh I almost forgot to mention the most important thing about the new girls is…wait for it…wait for it…THEY DO NOT SAGG!  Say goodbye to under wire, its a thing of the past! I can see it now being 90 years old, god willing, and they will be the only thing on my body that’s not dragging on the floor or has been removed  surgically 🙂

So again YES, Virgina there is a Santa Clause and I have been a VERY, VERY good girl this year!!! I shall have those magical breasts of past blogs that I had wish for. Actually I got a whole lot more then breasts. I have learned lessons about life. I see the things in my life that are the real important things. I no longer sweat the little things. I try to take things lightly and joke often( remember laughter is contagious).But most of all I appreciate my life, family, friends, son ,my husband Rick. Without all that I wouldn’t be here today. I should start spelling my husbands name R-O-C-K, because that is what he is.

So my wish is to you to have a magical Christmas with all your hearts desires!! And may a healthy New Year be in sight for 2014! Let’s face it was a crappy year for me, so from here the only way is up!

aka Chemobrainandmore

p.s. Santa if it’s not to much to ask I would really like to hit the lottery! I promise to share…Yea, yea I know I’m pushing it lol. MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL 🙂