Tag Archives: love

Update. Let the healing begin..,AGAIN!


  Here I am not able to sleep. Partially because of pain but mostly anxiety. Plus the dog curled up in my lap constantly does not help the hot flashes, but it’s ok I need the snuggling to get me through this. 

 Boomer snuggling with me  Tomorrow I get to see my new breasts!! And maybe have a drain removed ( I hate them they are horribly sore) I really hope this was the last surgery, and believe me this one was a doozie!!! Constant pulling and pressure. 

The first day home was a huge struggle to get the pain meds right. The second day started running a fever, highest it went was 100.9, whew just missed going to Er. I have tendencies to run fevers after all my surgeries. I think it has something to do with my Lupus. Having a fever to go along with everything else was pretty unbareable. But I can see some cleavage!! At least there is cleavage at the end of this tunnel!ūüöā 

I’m just so uncomfertable with the two drains and not being able to lift my arms. My husband has been a fantastic caregiver as always, I don’t know if I could do it for someone else.

My son has also been a huge help, but you know 15yr olds busy with friends and work. Sadly to say this is “normal” for him lol. I do feel this entire cancer thing has made him a better person. I see a lot of compassion from him and he has a tendency to always help someone in need. ( plus he does his own  wash! Your welcome future wife! Just don’t meet him for like 13-14yrs from now I’m not quite ready to cut the apron strings ūüėĀ)

I’ll be back in a few days with an update of how my girls are going

Oh and don’t forget to check out my Etsy store!! http://www.etsy.com/store/ ShoreSerenity , sea glass jewelry, beachy decor , wine cork decor and  wreaths. If u mention my blog “chemobrainandmore”, you will receive 15% off any one item in my shop, good only until September 5th so hurry! One per customer please. 



To My person

To My person

Happy Valentine’s Day to one and all especially to my love, my husband. You’ve been through what I can only imagine as a nightmare for a husband to endure, dealing with all the ups and downs that we have been though our past four years of marriage. (And even before that)

You are always there to make me laugh in my darkest hours and make my best days even better. There is no one in the world I would have rather been with on this long, and some times crappy journey then with you. You are an amazing person and your love has gotten me through so much. As we are about to face our next obstacle I know it will make us even stronger then before. Thank you for having the patience to take care of me on my worst days. And for not caring that the big C has changed the way I look, you make me feel more beautiful then ever.

You are the love of my life…you’re my person.

My pain and the hurricane…


As we batten down the hatches here at the Jersey Shore for hurricane Sandy. ( Very appropriate name I think considering we live at the shore). I start to take my new Aromatise meds for my breast cancer on Friday night. I AM SICK OF BEING SICK BLAH!!! DAMN YOU BREAST CANCER, I thought you where gone for good and once again your ugly head is peeking into my life again.

Now my meds and the storm are a lot a like, the perfect storm lol. Both are a something you dread but have to live though. Friday night was the first time¬†I took the new meds and I was hopeful that the side effects would not be as bad as my doctor had warned. She said joint pain and fatigue( I read about the other crappy side effects on the package, at¬†least with¬† this one does not have anal¬†leakage LMAO. Well thank god for that! I thought to myself can’t be as bad what I felt during chemo. I AM ONE TOUGH CHICK¬† when it comes to this. I can do it!! Just like we are hoping that the impact of Sandy would not affect us as they would predict.¬†WRONG ON BOTH FRONTS, DAMN!! I guess that’s¬†why I am not a professional psychic, I cant predict anything lol.

Aww¬†Ma, I don’t want to take my cancer meds! Why can’t they make bubble gum flavored cancer meds?? I would be up for it lol.

The pain started yesterday in my hips and feet. And now has worked up to the joints in my fingers, nothing seems to help this pain. As for the storm, well the wind started yesterday early, and now has worked its way up to about 25 mile an hour wind and parts along the shore are now flooded. Thank god I still had some perks left over from my hysterectomy a few months ago or my husband would have found me playing in the surf at the beach right now!! Both things are unreal and a pain in the ass, or my case a pain in my, hips,back,fingers,arms etc.

There is nothing you can do about either one. At least the storm will be gone in a few days, I just hope the pain with leave along with the storm…



On Sunday October 21st I participated in my first Strides Walk to end Breast Cancer. I was able to raise over $2600.00! I am proud to say I surpassed my goal of $1500 by a lot, and I am now a pacesetter with The American Cancer Society! The event was amazing, inspiring and wonderful. Thank you to all my friends family and co-workers who came out to join my “Rack Pack“.

Even though I could be facing breast cancer again (yes, they are now unsure of my biopsy results now), this was something to keep me going.  I am glad that I am able to give back to my family of survivors and hopefully save someone elses life. I just pray soon there is a cure for this horrible disease. I met some really amazing women that day and to see a turn out of 20,0000 walkers just blew my mind!!!

I am so proud to have been able to accomplish this just on year after my treatment, and possibly having a to face it again soon.( I will be back with an update on that after my MRI next week and second opinions at Robert Wood Johnson hospital). Yes, Virgina there is a Santa Clause… this year he could be bringing me my new boobs lol.¬†POSITIVE THOUGHTS

I have to say a huge THANK YOU to my husband for wearing pink for me on that day (he is a man’s man lol), and for putting up with all my fundraising talk and all the pink around the house! I promise next year I will go easy on you XOXO.














All I needed to know in life, I learned from having breast cancer! (hint,hint it has to do with friends & family)


Amongst all this crap I have been through in the past two years I have to thank my family and friends. Without them I would not have the strength to get through all of this. Without them I would not have found my cancer (Pat!!)!! I love you all dearly!!! My husband and son are so amazing!! Both of you are my angels and you are my heart!!Thank you for helping me on my worst days and being there for my best days, without either of you I would be missing a piece of myself!!

My son Branden and husband Rick

Rick and myself a month and a half before I was diagnosed. Man I miss that 80’s hair!!!But I do like my chemo curls lol.

These are the pictures from when Jessica and I cut my hair off in April 2011. We laughed, we cried but we made it fun!! The hair in the garbage can after looked like a Shih Tzu LMAO!!

Mohawk with the classy rat-tail, very early 90’s

a good friend shaves your head




These pictures below¬†where from mother’s day 2011, all I wanted to do was sit and smell the salt air. I was to sick for anything else, but it made me so happy!!

Myself and Branden on Mothers day 2011

Rick and myself

Pink party at the melting pot, 2/2011 right after my lumpectomy.

The above picture is from Feb 2011. My friends had a pink party for me. Nothing better than a little fondue to pick up your   spirits!! What an amazing group of friends I have for doing all of this!

Pink drinks!!

marshmallows for dipping, mine looked like boobs lol take notice the one had a dent in it, just like mine!!!


 These next group of shots are from when my friends surprised me with a night out in a PINK LIMO!!! They had shirts made and all wore pink. What a way to celebrate being in remission. Again THANK YOU ALL!! This time you got me to cry lol.

Jenny Mac and Gen

The HOT pink limo!! My celebration of being in remission 11/2011

Jb, Lorin and myself

J boogs and myslef

Pink night to celebrate me being in remission!!

ok you got me with the surprise!!

The girls

I have learned though all of this, that all you need in life is a good family and good friends. Both will get you a long way, no matter what your battle is. I LOVE YOU ALL!! XOXO THANK YOU FOR BEING MY FAMILY AND FRIENDS

My Breast Cancer Benefit, what a sweet suprise!!


Ok, I have to apologize for my blog, it is a little all over the place. This benefit took place 8 weeks post op hysterectomy and before my latest BC scare. But I needed to share this with the world, so please excuse my disorgnization of the order of my blog.


My Friends,from left to right: Kira, Me, Jessica Boogie Brown and Genevive.

Amazing, incredible,wonderful, supportive,exciting,unexpected,thankful,grateful,surprised¬†,I am sure there are more adjectives¬†and still wont express how Rick and I felt the day our benefit. Our dear friends and coworkers through¬†for us On August 26,2012 to help with medical bills and to start our sugorracy¬†fund! We can’t¬†JB aka Jessica Brown and Charlie aka “Mr. Middletown” for coming together and putting together a spectacular, amazing event for us.

The following was what was put on flyers and in newspapers (I never thought my life sounded so pathetic until it was put into words,man I have been through a lot of crap lol)
imageThe story of Heather and Rick Morrill has touched many people, that we’re hosting this very special event in hopes that their story will inspire you too. Our goal is to help Heather and Rick alleviate some of the burden which resulted from medical bills and other tragedies.

Heather was raised in Middletown by her mother, Virginia, and father Arthur ‚ÄúArtie‚ÄĚ Cerwin. She lived the typical ‚Äú20-something‚ÄĚ life until losing her mother when she was just 24 years old. Although this loss devastated Heather, she kept a smile on her face and did her best to lead a normal life. Along with her father, who was now also her only living family member, Heather filled her days the best way she knew how, with laughter, love and a positive attitude.

Heather later met the love of her life, Rick Morrill and it seemed as though things were finally turning around. It was clear from the moment they met that Heather and Rick were meant to be and were head-over-heals in love. After their courtship, Heather and Rick ‚Äúset the date.‚ÄĚ A wedding would be held in the fall of 2010, and it would be a time of great celebration for everyone. By the New Year in 2009, with the help of Rick‚Äôs family and Heather‚Äôs father Artie, the wedding plans were in full swing. The countdown to wedded bliss had begun.

Little did anyone know, another tragedy would soon overshadow what was supposed to be the happiest time in this young couple‚Äôs lives. In the summer of 2009, Heather would lose her father Artie, only a few short months before her wedding day. After already losing her mother, this loss only compounded Heather‚Äôs grief. ‚ÄúWho will walk me down the aisle?‚ÄĚ ‚ÄúWho will I dance with at my wedding?‚ÄĚ

Despite the loss of both parents, and a void that could never be filled, Heather and Rick were married on a beautiful November day, and their happily ever after seemed to be underway. Along with Heather’s son Branden, the couple looked forward to a future full of love, health and happiness.

In the Spring of 2010, Heather and Rick were elated to learn they were expecting their first child! Their new addition would arrive early in 2011 and they could hardly contain their joy. Sadly, this journey would end tragically as the result of an ectopic pregnancy. And because the resulting hemorrhage was a life-threatening complication, Heather would require emergency surgery to remove one of her fallopian tubes. Needless to say, devastation set in for the family. Doctors advised the family to hold off on any efforts to have more children, while Heather attempted to recuperate mentally and physically from this ordeal. It was around this time that Heather went for her first mammogram at the age of 35.

There were no signs or indications of trouble. It was simply a group of girlfriends going together for their first mammogram at their employer’s mobile mammography center. It wasn’t until a few days later when Heather got the call that the test came back and something was wrong.

Heather was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer at the age of 35.

Before treatment could begin, Heather and Rick were advised to harvest embryos because there is a high risk that the radiation and chemotherapy would cause infertility. The doctors soon placed Heather in a case study and began to follow her treatment. The plan was for her to endure several weeks of radiation then numerous weeks of chemotherapy infusion via a port. As the weeks went by, the chemotherapy, the multiple prescription drugs, and severe infections at the site of the port left Heather at her weakest and most fragile. As a result of these the complications, Rick had to rush her to the ER day and night.

One year later, and cancer free, Heather and Rick are left with an empty savings account and more debt than they ever could have imagined. They have no choice but to start their lives all over again.

In June, Heather and Rick were called into the doctor’s office with even more bad news. The complications from the treatment had left no choice for the doctors but to perform a Radical Hysterectomy. Heather and Rick learned that the embryos that they had stored would never be carried by Heather and that if they still wanted to have children that they would need to hire a surrogate. Heather was stripped her ability to carry their child.

Heather and Rick are now faced with not only the medical bills from the cancer treatment, but now will face even more hardship with Heather’s upcoming hysterectomy this summer. At the age of 37, Heather has been through what seems to be all that one person can handle in a life time.

The average cost for a surrogate, including application fees, legal expenses, medical expenses, administrative expenses and psychological fees is $20,000 Р$75,000. Heather and Rick can’t afford to begin this process. And sadly, without a surrogate, will never be able to have a child together.

Heather and Rick Morrill have been through so much in the last 2 years of their lives. At no time did either one of them lose their spirit or the positive attitude that they are both known for. They faced each and every one of the tragedies hand in hand and heart in heart and conquered not only the physical complications, but also the emotional ones as well.

Just to name a few of the donations:

Cream Ridge Gold Course donated a gift certificate for “One Round of Golf for 4 players” (Monday – Friday after 1:00).

One week reserved (7/28/2013 to 8/4/2013) at the Sheraton Broadway Plantation in Myrtle Beach SC near Broadway at the Beach. It is a 1 bedroom (queen bed) unit with a mini kitchen that sleeps 4 (full size sofa sleeper). The resort offers family activities such as indoor/outdoor pool, miniature golf, sand volleyball, tennis, a lazy river, and a seasonal pool bar. There s a Fitness Center with aerobic and free-weights that is open 24 hours.

John Dockery, a former NY Jet, donated a football signed by Joe Namath

Checks can be written out to “Hand to Hand Ministries”

Suneagles Golf Club Fort Monmouth donated “Golf for 4” up to $217 value – includes: 4 rounds of golf with cart Monday -Friday – Anytime/expires 12/31/2012…excludes

There is also link on http://www.eastkoast.com where peolpe can buy 50-50 and or make donations.

Many local restuarants also donted, examples: Salt Creek Grille, Melting Pot, Walter Mihms Steak House, Barncle Bills, Basil T’s………and many many more.

Please help us make a difference!!! Any and all donations are appreciate.

Please join us!!!!! ALL ARE WELCOME!!!

I told you my life sounds pathetic lol!!!

The funny thing as Jessica was fund raising for me. I was bugging the same people to sign up for the Strides walk for Breast Cancer. I was trying to get people to donate for a raffel I wanted to do when I returned to work. I just thought I was a looser an no one wanted to join me. LOL I couldn’t have been more wrong!!!


Jessica working the silent auction table,doing what she does best!!

I can’t¬†thank enough all the people who donated for the silent auction.Linda and Rich you are the kindest people I know and love you dearly, I am blessed to¬†have you as my in-laws¬†and it goes without¬†saying thank you for supporting Rick and I every step of the way. I need to thank Mama Brown for helping with organization on the auction table,the raffle¬†and helping JB¬†set everything up and Erica to. I can’t¬†express my gratitude to everyone who bought¬†raffles¬†(all my coworkers and people I don’t¬†know who are just generous). Gen, I know you and JB¬†worked your butts off to sell,JB¬†I know how you sold some of yours lol. Also some old friends from High school I have not see in years, thank u,amazing.

The food was great compliments of Florentinos in Middletown, the burgers and hot dogs where out of this world!(your mom being a survivor is an inspiration to me), I have always loved your  sandwiches since I was in college they are the best,yum! www.florentinos.com/



Those of you who know me,I just dont shut up!!

Chris Morrsey and his band mates, u guys rocked and thank you for taking time out of your weekend and spending it with us! The music was fantastic and people enjoyed dancing. Also thanks for letting me have the mic (big mistake I like to talk,I want one for xmas¬†now lol) so I could express my appreciation¬†to those who where¬†there, some I knew and some I didn’t.


The Harborside¬†is an amazing place, I can’t¬†thank the owners enough for loaning the parking lot for the event, it takes special people to have something at their place of business for somethinglike this.http://www.ahwinebar.com/harborside.html Your restraunt¬†is fantastic¬†and we love your wine bar!

And we def can’t¬†forget the Top Shelf Tailgating!!! Thank you for the kegs and the wide-screen¬†tv with the games on, so cool!! The corn hole games where perfect to keep the boys busy,awesome service.You thought of it all,a built in port a potty, love it!!


My fantastic son Branden working the auction table,hes the other love of my life.I am amazed at how he has handled all the issues I have had. I am proud to call him my son.


more friends/coworkers, Lorin,Me, JB, and D!

My husband and I are truly¬†blessed more than we know. And we have so many people who love and support us. Thank you is not a strong enough word to show our appreciation. The way we can show our thanks is buy keep¬†on smiling and fighting the good fight! We love you all dearly and when tragedy¬†happens to a family it does not always have to make your life bad(I mean it does suck for a while don’t¬†get me wrong). It can make you appreciate the little things,your friends,your family and even just the air we breath. Cancer has changed our lives forever,but for the better ūüôā


Some of wonderful and close friends enjoying in the fun.



All of the boys!!





Mark, Rich and Catriona


Of course we ended it with a bang!!