Here I am not able to sleep. Partially because of pain but mostly anxiety. Plus the dog curled up in my lap constantly does not help the hot flashes, but it’s ok I need the snuggling to get me through this.
Tomorrow I get to see my new breasts!! And maybe have a drain removed ( I hate them they are horribly sore) I really hope this was the last surgery, and believe me this one was a doozie!!! Constant pulling and pressure.
The first day home was a huge struggle to get the pain meds right. The second day started running a fever, highest it went was 100.9, whew just missed going to Er. I have tendencies to run fevers after all my surgeries. I think it has something to do with my Lupus. Having a fever to go along with everything else was pretty unbareable. But I can see some cleavage!! At least there is cleavage at the end of this tunnel!🚂
I’m just so uncomfertable with the two drains and not being able to lift my arms. My husband has been a fantastic caregiver as always, I don’t know if I could do it for someone else.
My son has also been a huge help, but you know 15yr olds busy with friends and work. Sadly to say this is “normal” for him lol. I do feel this entire cancer thing has made him a better person. I see a lot of compassion from him and he has a tendency to always help someone in need. ( plus he does his own wash! Your welcome future wife! Just don’t meet him for like 13-14yrs from now I’m not quite ready to cut the apron strings 😁)
I’ll be back in a few days with an update of how my girls are going
Oh and don’t forget to check out my Etsy store!! http://www.etsy.com/store/ ShoreSerenity , sea glass jewelry, beachy decor , wine cork decor and wreaths. If u mention my blog “chemobrainandmore”, you will receive 15% off any one item in my shop, good only until September 5th so hurry! One per customer please.
Well, it’s finally here!! My consultation for my mastectomy reconstruction and nipple reconstruction is tomorrow. Yes, once again more surgery. At this point I’ve stopped counting lol. It’s been well over a year I had my implants placed, now it’s time to tune them up!
I approach this with joy, excitement and fear. Excitement to be “complete”, joy to be moving on with this and fear of the unknown. How will I look? Will I be happy? And of course how much will it hurt? All I know there is something in me that says now is the right time. I want to feel whole again. I know the fear of cancer will always linger but finishing this process will help me have some closure to the cancer chapter in my life, and allow me to open a new chapter…life after cancer, being a survivor!
They have finally arrived in all their glory! My twin girls, they weighed in at a hefty 900cc each,about 6 inches long born at 8:30 am. My husband and I are so proud. Sadly the proud father was not there to see the birth, in this case we will defiantly make an exception. The only thing is they have been keeping me up at night. I know that should be expected with newborns. Oh, we still don’t have any names, so we are up for suggestions!
But seriously the surgery went well. I had some breathing issues in post op so I had a nice cough that made the implants feel like knifes in me. This surgery was easier then the last, however I am in pain (especially my right side) and very,very sleepy. Truthfully I’m not feeling up to doing much. I am back to sleeping on my back, which I totally hate. And I have a new appreciation for prunes as a whole fruit. I finished off a bag in two days! That damn anesthesia gets me every time but this time I was prepared. Armed with Colace and bags of prunes lol.(note to self add bag of prunes to mastectomy must haves)
My PS did have to break up the capsule that formed from the scar tissue on my radiated breast. He said he had to open it by cutting it long ways, then making little cuts so it will hopefully open up and expand to match the left side. I will need another surgery for fat transfer for my cleavage. I can only describe the area there as being hollow looking. I know they will not be perfect, I just want my new normal. I wish that and the nipple could be done right away so I can mentally get through this. But I know I need to be patient, Rome was not built in a day and apparently either will my boobs!!
Well I know I haven’t updated on my reconstruction status in a week or so. Last week I only did 25 cc’s and now unfortunately I’m getting filled every other week.( The week off is my gift lol) I’m now in the home stretch now I have three to four more fills to go!
I think I see it?
With all that being said, I’m still in a lot of pain. Not so much my left side, its the right side The fills are getting harder to to take. I think it’s because of the previous radiation and the fact that there is not much room left in the boob region. However, I am able now to go without my bra stuffers! I actually somewhat have boobs now! They are more or less shaped like a whoopie cushion, mine don’t make noise when you squeeze them!
Hey! That’s an idea, to have squeekers in the expanders, kind of dog toys lol. That would be great, so at all the follow up appointments my girls would get a little squeak!
Anyone up for squeakers in your expanders?!?! Lol
Yep, its me again talking about my boobs! Its that love/hate relationship with Thursdays and its here again, sorry Dr. A. You are a pleasure to see, its just that damn needle!
Tomorrow I’m sorry to say I will not be as brave as last week, no topical and 50cc, that is as brave as brave can gets when it comes to this crap! I can only describe this feeling kinda like jumping into ice water. The shock of the needle puncturing your muscle is like first hitting that water, its shock, pain and a slight twitch. Then you slowly ease into it an accept the feeling, and then hurry out into a warm towel. Accept after the needle I don’t have a warm towel to comfort me, however I do have muscle relaxers to take the edge off. 😉
I am getting to the point when I have my tank top on I am not flat chested! Its no where close to where I was before, but I am good with that. Like I said in my previous blog, my breasts and I had a good run together and now we have had a amicable divorce! I am happy with my new life with out them!
Through out this long process I believe I have one of the best plastic surgeons in Nj. Dr. A ( Dr Assad Samra). He is so kind and caring it has made this a easier process. He listens to all my concerns. And answers all my questions, even my stupid ones!! Ever time I get my injection I some how find something to laugh about, it is comforting especially when your getting two needles in your boobs for weeks lol. So I really do need to say a huge thank you for making a difficult time in my life a little easier with your wonderful bed side manner. Even my husband is very impressed, and that is hard to do!
Its that time of the week!! Its Thursday! And that means its time to, pump me up!!!
Last week I ended up going down to 25cc. I got some relief, but truthfully every day I’m in pain. Its a pain in the
ass boob lol. I just don’t know what to do? Suck it up do 50cc get it over faster OR get 25cc less pain but prolong the process? What to do, what to do?
I am also frustrated because I don’t think people actually get how much physical pain is involved. The other thing is people seem in shock when I tell them I have to have another surgery for the swap, and I don’t know the date of that. THIS IS NOT A BOOB JOB PEOPLE, ITS A MASTECTOMY, TWO TOTALLY DIFFERENT THINGS!! Its like comparing apples to oranges!Believe me, I didn’t need a boob job before the big C! Sorry just a small venting lol.
This is an apple
This is a orange.
These are boobs!! Any questions??
Well, we will see what my PC suggests when I get there about the cc,s. I’m sure when I get home I will go right to bed and sleep it off. Hopefully tomorrow will be a pain “lesser” kind of day! 🙂
Finally I am now well enough to proceed with the process of fill my expanders. Or as I like to say filling the girls up! My husband calls it getting air in my tier.
I admit I was quite nervous driving there, because finally I was no longer in pain and did not know if it would feel as bad as it did after surgery.
We decided 50cc would be best to start with. So my Plastic Surgeon took out a magnetic device to find the port in the expander, placed an X on the spot and out came the GIANT needle!! Really in theory it was not that big, but when your that close it looks as thick as a baseball bat!! Again you would think I would be used to needles and in some cases yes, like a simple blood draw at Lab corp that takes three sticks because the don’t liston to me when I show them my one good vein that does not colaspe. ( that makes me nuts! I gave one arm to draw from get blood taken at least 15 times a year, but why would they liston to me???? K sorry for my rant on blood draws lol)
Truthfully it was not a bad experience! Or it could have been the zanex and flexeral kicking in lol.Yes it did pinch going in and I felt pressure but no pain. ( the pain came hours later, I did need some percs lol). It was fascinating seeing your boob grow right in front of you. It was like puberty in fast forward!
Its amazing how much 50cc boosted my confidence. Only 450 more to go lol. YES, I am going for large girls , however they are smaller then my old ones. I can’t wait to see the final ta-ta product! Watch out Victoria’s Secret you have a boobie newbie on your hands and ready to shop!!
Oh hello, how did u get here so fast??
PS I will soon have my ACS Strides link up. I can’t walk this year but I am confident I will surpass last years total!!