As you know I started by Etsy shop ShoreSerenity. I am happy to say as a survivor I am honored to show case my Eternity Breast Cancer Bracelets. They are for supporters, us who have fought and for remembering those who have lost their battle. The link to them in my shop if you would like to purchase . http://www.etsy.com/listing/247731220
My shop link is http://www.etsy.com/shop/ShoreSerenity
I also have not given an update in a few weeks. I am now 5 weeks out from the revision of my reconstruction. Pretty much meaning I had a VERY painful lift!! It is as painful as the mastectomy. I had the drains back in for two weeks. Come on ladies how much do we LOVE those fantastic drains, that no matter how you try to hide the you look pregnant!!! Lol
Now I have another surgery coming up, kinda nip and tuck if you will to even my girls out. I know they will never be “normal”, I just want them to me my normal. And the CHERRY on top nipples! YES, the big Nip is coming. I was only going to tattoo them on but the further out I get from the big C I want to reconstruct them. Dr is not thrilled because blood flow from radiated side might not be great but he said he won’t tell me no. I have to say my Plastic Surgeon is a Saint! He has the patience of one and just listens to your ideas.
Oh and I forgot to post, IM FOUR YEARS IN REMISSION THIS MONTH! Things are on the up swing for now!
Here I am not able to sleep. Partially because of pain but mostly anxiety. Plus the dog curled up in my lap constantly does not help the hot flashes, but it’s ok I need the snuggling to get me through this.
Tomorrow I get to see my new breasts!! And maybe have a drain removed ( I hate them they are horribly sore) I really hope this was the last surgery, and believe me this one was a doozie!!! Constant pulling and pressure.
The first day home was a huge struggle to get the pain meds right. The second day started running a fever, highest it went was 100.9, whew just missed going to Er. I have tendencies to run fevers after all my surgeries. I think it has something to do with my Lupus. Having a fever to go along with everything else was pretty unbareable. But I can see some cleavage!! At least there is cleavage at the end of this tunnel!🚂
I’m just so uncomfertable with the two drains and not being able to lift my arms. My husband has been a fantastic caregiver as always, I don’t know if I could do it for someone else.
My son has also been a huge help, but you know 15yr olds busy with friends and work. Sadly to say this is “normal” for him lol. I do feel this entire cancer thing has made him a better person. I see a lot of compassion from him and he has a tendency to always help someone in need. ( plus he does his own wash! Your welcome future wife! Just don’t meet him for like 13-14yrs from now I’m not quite ready to cut the apron strings 😁)
I’ll be back in a few days with an update of how my girls are going
Oh and don’t forget to check out my Etsy store!! http://www.etsy.com/store/ ShoreSerenity , sea glass jewelry, beachy decor , wine cork decor and wreaths. If u mention my blog “chemobrainandmore”, you will receive 15% off any one item in my shop, good only until September 5th so hurry! One per customer please.
So I know I have not posted in quite some time. So Here are things in the past few months in a nut she’ll.
I returned back to work to in May to my normal routine. It was extremely hard because of the chemo brain trying to remember everything which I’m sure others can relate to. Unfortunately in October I thought I had a really bad stomach virus and went to the emergency room I was misdiagnosed with a neoplasm in my liver and was completely freaked out that the cancer had metastasized. The next day I went to my oncologist and by the time I got there I was in liver failure and returned back to the emergency room and low and behold I had gallstones and pancreatitis! Seriously you can’t make this crap up!! The pancreatitis was so bad I was admitted to the hospital for seven days and ended up having my gallbladder removed. So that was a lot of fun because it was my son’s first homecoming and unfortunately I had to miss that milestone. Btw being admitted that long is enough to make you nuts! I was lucky enough for three days to have the room to myself. Plus I had a fan and febreeze with me to make it more tolerable. You know me I’m always looking for a way to make to crappy stuff a little more easy to deal with.
Then next, I had my six-month infusion. That was a treat as always, however it was made worse by my new diagnosis of Lupis. Yes, another wonderful aliment that I have been blessed with. Thanks to my surgical oncologist who recommended me going to a rheumatologist because of my PTSD ,anxiety ,skin disorders and allergies she pinpointed that it might be something other then a coincidence I had all these issues. So after going through all the testing with the rheumatologist I was also diagnosed with Epstein- Barr . I’m glad I have these diagnosis is now because I am absolutely exhausted all the time and I couldn’t figure out why.( so to everyone who thought I was lazy, haha your wrong).
And last but not least looking towards the future I’m starting to begin planning my next reconstruction surgery. It’s been a year since I’ve had my implants put in and I truly feel like it’s time to close the door in this chapter. I’m starting to feel somewhat incomplete by the way I look. I’m just worried about the anesthesia and going through the pain of not being able to be mobile for a few weeks. Not that I’m not saying having my breasts perfect makes me a complete person, but I’m just reminded every single time I look in the mirror of what I’ve been through the past four years of my life. Truthfully I’m just really over cancer. And plus I finally get to get my tattoos of the cherry and strawberry for my nipples! LOL
The other thing that I’ve been up to is I open my own Etsy store to help with my anxiety. I usually do my crafting late at night when I can’t sleep ,I find it extremely calming. Personally when I was going through my chemo treatment or anytime now that I am really anxious, my husband takes me for a ride down by the beach. So I figured why not start a little Etsy store with my crafts that I do with sea glass, shells, jewelry and wreaths. Plus who can’t use a little extra money for the medical bills! If you would like to check out my store here is the link, I hope you enjoy it. I called it ShoreSerenity.
If the link does not work go to Etsy and put in ShoreSerenity to vist my store!
I hope you enjoy!
Well my results are in from my biopsy this week, and there is no drum roll with these kind of results! When things go bad, they go really, really bad lol. This is something you just cant script!
I was on the way to a wake Thursday night and suddenly my husband realized my car had flat tire just as we where entering the parkway. We tried to change the tire, but our dismay we where unable to get the bolts off my wheel. So as my husband is calling a tow truck I sat in the car in the AC. As I did this strange number came across my phone, I answered it and to my surprise it was my breast surgeon and he had an up beat tone in his voice. I didn’t think that my results would be ready until tomrrow. I start to think good news??? Nope I could not have been more wrong. My report showed “atypical” cells and then that damn”C“word crept in my head. My doctor said,”with these findings we can’t rule out recurrent cancer”. That moment my stomach dropped and I felt a warmth coming up from my feet, to my knees, all the way to my head. After hearing those words that went to the core of my spirit, everything else he said just sounded to me like Charlie Browns teacher,just noise. Nothing at that point was comprehendable. So I reached in my purse for a few zanaxs to aid in the soon and fast approuching anxioty attach that I knew was headed my way.(I have a purse full of stuff. Usually a large Coach or Michaels Kors bag. I pratically can preform surgery on someone if I had to with all the crap I carry lol).
The first thing I said to him was, mastectomy! Like I said before I am so over my breasts, TAKE THEM OFF ALREADY!!!!. My doctor did say that will be the next step, however we need to confirm that it defiantly is recurrent breast cancer. So,I am now having a surgery to have more tissue from the area removed, kinda like a lumpectomy but without the removal of the lymph nodes on Thursday. I choose to be awake for the procedure(yea sounds scary but they drug you up, Ill enjoy the legal drugs while I can lol) because 9 weeks ago when I had my hysterectomy my lung partially collapsed. I don’t want to take any chances and end up with pneunomia and inpatient in the hospital Also, to have the preop test and wait 4 weeks for the surgery?? NO THANK YOU, let’s get it done and over! If you have not relazied it by now I am very aggressive when it comes to this.
I now find myself again faced with my own mortality again at the age of 37. (I think in a previous life I was a cat because I seem to have 9 lives lol). I am so done and over it all, however I will never say I cant do this, because I am a fighter. I will survive there is no other way.(This is the point where I would add back ground music of Gloria Gainers unforgettable hit, I Will Survive.Yes, it may be little cheesey but hell it works!!)
However, this is coming at the worst time (not that there is a good time for cancer and not that you can plan to have it when you choose lol). I just returned back to work this past Wensday and now next week I will be going back out on disability! I think I am gonna buy a lottery ticket because no one can have this much bad luck lol. Again, my positive thought is a new perky pair of C cups 🙂 if worse comes to worse!