Tag Archives: reconstruction

When you get lemons, make lemonade!!


By now you know who I am. Just a few short months ago to help with my anxiety I created my Etsy store ShoreSerenity. I just love, love the beach. To breath in the salty fresh air renews your soul. And the sand on your feels just as amazing. 

One day I thought to myself why not start making beachy jewlery and home decor from recycled items of course. I now carry bracelets, earrings, necklaces, wreaths of all kinda, beachy decor and items make of recycled cork.

When I’m in my zone doing this the world goes away and I feel free of what ails me! I am so proud of what I have done and want to share with others. 




Update. Let the healing begin..,AGAIN!


  Here I am not able to sleep. Partially because of pain but mostly anxiety. Plus the dog curled up in my lap constantly does not help the hot flashes, but it’s ok I need the snuggling to get me through this. 

 Boomer snuggling with me  Tomorrow I get to see my new breasts!! And maybe have a drain removed ( I hate them they are horribly sore) I really hope this was the last surgery, and believe me this one was a doozie!!! Constant pulling and pressure. 

The first day home was a huge struggle to get the pain meds right. The second day started running a fever, highest it went was 100.9, whew just missed going to Er. I have tendencies to run fevers after all my surgeries. I think it has something to do with my Lupus. Having a fever to go along with everything else was pretty unbareable. But I can see some cleavage!! At least there is cleavage at the end of this tunnel!🚂 

I’m just so uncomfertable with the two drains and not being able to lift my arms. My husband has been a fantastic caregiver as always, I don’t know if I could do it for someone else.

My son has also been a huge help, but you know 15yr olds busy with friends and work. Sadly to say this is “normal” for him lol. I do feel this entire cancer thing has made him a better person. I see a lot of compassion from him and he has a tendency to always help someone in need. ( plus he does his own  wash! Your welcome future wife! Just don’t meet him for like 13-14yrs from now I’m not quite ready to cut the apron strings 😁)

I’ll be back in a few days with an update of how my girls are going

Oh and don’t forget to check out my Etsy store!! http://www.etsy.com/store/ ShoreSerenity , sea glass jewelry, beachy decor , wine cork decor and  wreaths. If u mention my blog “chemobrainandmore”, you will receive 15% off any one item in my shop, good only until September 5th so hurry! One per customer please. 


Reconstructing the reconstruction, surgery time again tomorrow!



Well yes, it’s that time again we all love, preparing for surgery. Somehow I end up having one major surgery for each of the past five years! Now it finally time to fix up my girls! I’m now a pro at this by now!

It’s been a year and a half since my implants where put in. Things have settled and I’ve lost weight. My right side keeps contracting making my left side 3 sizes bigger. We are hoping with this revision it will help it not look so much bigger.

So this apparently is pretty painful… PLEASE! I’ve been down this road before I can handle it! They will be creating pockets on my chest wall and placing the implants in them to prevent them from being so moble. Let’s not forget I’m a large girl, my implants are 900cc, it take a village to hold my girls up lol. And let’s not forget the part we all love the most…the drains!! Yes for two weeks I will be battling these lovelys. Let the measuring begin!

So I’ve gone over my own list of ” mastectomy must haves”, knitting needle, dry shampoo, chair, good ol Poocharoo and of course the wonderful care from my husband rick. Everything seems to be set for 7:30am surgery tomorrow. 

Just trying to relax today an not worry about the three house surgery. I know I will wake up a new person, just in a little more pain then when I went to sleep.

Another major thing happening is, our deposit is down for our gestational carrier!! Hopefully by the time my twins are healed, we could actually be expect another set of twins, babies!! Positive thoughts for both out comes! 😁

Do I hear 850 anyone, anyone? How about 875? Anyone, Anyone?


Yep, its me again talking about my boobs! Its that love/hate relationship with Thursdays and its here again, sorry Dr. A. You are a pleasure to see, its just that damn needle!

Tomorrow I’m sorry to say I will not be as brave as last week, no topical and 50cc, that is as brave as brave can gets when it comes to this crap! I can only describe this feeling  kinda like jumping into ice water. The shock of the needle puncturing your muscle is like first hitting that water, its shock, pain and a slight twitch. Then you slowly ease into it an accept the feeling, and then hurry out into a warm towel. Accept after the needle I don’t have a warm towel to comfort me, however I do have muscle relaxers to take the edge off. 😉



I am getting to the point when I have my tank top on I am not flat chested! Its no where close to where I was before, but I am good with that. Like I said in my previous blog, my breasts and I had a good run together and now we have had a amicable divorce! I am happy with my new life with out them!

Through out this long process I believe I have one of the best plastic surgeons in Nj. Dr. A ( Dr Assad Samra). He is so kind and caring it has made this a easier process. He listens to all my concerns. And answers all my questions, even my stupid ones!! Ever time I get my injection I some how find something to laugh about, it is comforting especially when your getting two needles in your boobs for weeks lol. So I really do need to say a huge thank you for making a difficult time in my life a little easier with your wonderful bed side manner. Even my husband is very impressed, and that is hard to do!

Breast implants, the gift that keeps on giving!


Here I am sitting at my plastic surgeons office. Wondering why everyone else is here. I’m nosy like that lol. I keep wondering do they the big C like me? Or is it for vanity purposes or an injury. Don’t get me wrong nothing wrong with a little botox or some lipo. ( god how I would love some lipo lol).


Here is a little education about what I have done on a weekly basis. Looks like fun right????

I am starting to dread Thursdays just like I dreaded Tuesday’s when I had chemo. No offence to my plastic surgeon, I love him and the office, but the thought of a 22 gage needle going into each breast is not my idea of a great time! Plus I’m still sore from last weeks 50cc’s. I’m at 700cc now going up to 950cc. YES! they are going to be D cups. ( this is down sizing for me lol). I’m happy I won’t have to wear a bra!!!


My big D cups!!

I’m not gonna lie this is one of the hardest things I have done in my life. The important thing is that its saving my life! Fingers crossed this fill won’t be so bad!

Week 7 post op, I got my second fill up, I will take unleaded please!


Well I got another 50 CC’s today! Woo whoo! Maybe by the next fill up I can get a training bra for the girls lol!! Actually no bra required right now, its very liberating! See look another positive to having cancer!


Look how little they are, so cute l

I do have to say this fill up was a doozy! My left side took about five minutes of digging with that bat size needle to find the port in the expander.

Then the right side ( the radiated side) is becoming hard and really, really hurts. The needle went in fine except it hit my chest muscle on the way in,and my muscle started  contracting. This was a very strange feeling. So today I was a human dart board! I’m sure my husband with all the stress from this wouldn’t mind taking a shot at throwing a dart at me!! Lmao


We also found out that this whole process is A LOT longer then expected. I’m just freaking because the holidays, my anniversary and three birthdays are coming up, disability pay just just does not cut it. I can see myself now with a pile of pine cones, Elmer’s glue and glitter making gifts!! ” Sorry son, no tablet for Christmas, but I make you this nifty glitter cone!”. Don’t think that will go over to well with a 14 yr old.



Got my first expander fill up today!! Week 6 post op.


Finally I am now well enough to proceed with the process of fill my expanders. Or as I like to say filling the girls up! My husband calls it getting air in my tier.

I admit I was quite nervous driving there, because finally I was no longer in pain and did not know if it would feel as bad as it did after surgery.

We decided 50cc would be best to start with. So my Plastic Surgeon took out a magnetic device to find the port in the expander, placed an X on the spot and out came the GIANT needle!!  Really in theory it was not that big, but when your that close it looks as thick as a baseball bat!! Again you would think I would be used to needles and in some cases yes, like a simple blood draw at Lab corp that takes three sticks because the don’t liston to me when I show them my one good vein that does not colaspe. ( that makes me nuts! I gave one arm to draw from get blood taken at least 15 times a year, but why would they liston to me???? K sorry for my rant on blood draws lol)

Truthfully it was not a bad experience! Or it could have been the zanex and flexeral kicking in lol.Yes it did pinch going in and I felt pressure but no pain. ( the pain came hours later, I did need some percs lol). It was fascinating seeing your boob grow right in front of you. It was like puberty in fast forward!

Its amazing how much 50cc boosted my confidence. Only 450 more to go lol. YES, I am going for large girls , however they are smaller then my old ones. I can’t wait to see the final ta-ta product! Watch out Victoria’s Secret you have a boobie newbie on your hands and ready to shop!!


Oh hello, how did u get here so fast??


PS I will soon have my ACS Strides link up. I can’t walk this year but I am confident I will surpass last years total!!