By now you know who I am. Just a few short months ago to help with my anxiety I created my Etsy store ShoreSerenity. I just love, love the beach. To breath in the salty fresh air renews your soul. And the sand on your feels just as amazing.
One day I thought to myself why not start making beachy jewlery and home decor from recycled items of course. I now carry bracelets, earrings, necklaces, wreaths of all kinda, beachy decor and items make of recycled cork.
When I’m in my zone doing this the world goes away and I feel free of what ails me! I am so proud of what I have done and want to share with others.
Here I am not able to sleep. Partially because of pain but mostly anxiety. Plus the dog curled up in my lap constantly does not help the hot flashes, but it’s ok I need the snuggling to get me through this.
Tomorrow I get to see my new breasts!! And maybe have a drain removed ( I hate them they are horribly sore) I really hope this was the last surgery, and believe me this one was a doozie!!! Constant pulling and pressure.
The first day home was a huge struggle to get the pain meds right. The second day started running a fever, highest it went was 100.9, whew just missed going to Er. I have tendencies to run fevers after all my surgeries. I think it has something to do with my Lupus. Having a fever to go along with everything else was pretty unbareable. But I can see some cleavage!! At least there is cleavage at the end of this tunnel!🚂
I’m just so uncomfertable with the two drains and not being able to lift my arms. My husband has been a fantastic caregiver as always, I don’t know if I could do it for someone else.
My son has also been a huge help, but you know 15yr olds busy with friends and work. Sadly to say this is “normal” for him lol. I do feel this entire cancer thing has made him a better person. I see a lot of compassion from him and he has a tendency to always help someone in need. ( plus he does his own wash! Your welcome future wife! Just don’t meet him for like 13-14yrs from now I’m not quite ready to cut the apron strings 😁)
I’ll be back in a few days with an update of how my girls are going
Oh and don’t forget to check out my Etsy store!! http://www.etsy.com/store/ ShoreSerenity , sea glass jewelry, beachy decor , wine cork decor and wreaths. If u mention my blog “chemobrainandmore”, you will receive 15% off any one item in my shop, good only until September 5th so hurry! One per customer please.
As I sit on the eve of my fourth fill of my expanders,I feel like I just want to break out! By that I mean I don’t want to feel like life is passing me by. I want to have fun!
Let’s hop a plane to Vagas on a whim.
Get in my car and drive, drive as far as I can go on a tank of gas! Or color my hair blue or purple, or heck shave it into a mullet again lol!
Business in the front, party in the back!
Rent a Ferrari and go really, really fast with the windows down with the wind blowing in my hair( I have really long chemo curls now that probably would knot up from the wind,but who cares its a Ferrari! lol) .
I just want to break out of this little box I’m living in. Have no pain, no worries, no bills, no doctor appointments for a day. I want to forget that I am someone’s patient, a statistic a work in progress.
I just want to be….and have fun!
” I love people who make me laugh. I honestly think it’s the thing I like most, to laugh. It cures a multitude of ills. It’s probably the most important thing in a person.”
“I believe in pink. I believe that laughing is the best calorie burner. I believe in kissing, kissing a lot. I believe in being strong when everything seems to be going wrong. I believe that happy girls are the prettiest girls. I believe tomorrow is another day. And…I believe in miracles.”
To me this says it all! I laughed my way through cancer. I giggled when I had to have my hysterectomy. The one thing you can never take away from me is my sense of humor. It gets you through the hardest times in your life even though you want to cry.
So, Monday I received my first of series of infusions for my bones called Zometa. Apparently this drug needs to be administered every 6 months for the next 5 years because the of my recent hysterectomy, chemotherapy, and being on Femera. All of which reduce estrogen in your body which is great since my BC was ER positive. But not so great for your bones. All of these things can reduce your bone density and increase your chance of developing osteoporosis. Nooooo thank you I like my bones in one piece!
Prior to receiving my infusion I discussed with my doctor all my recent allergies I have been having. So we decided on a cocktail (sadly not a martini), of Benadryl and steroids prior to the infusion just as a precaution. Within minutes of receiving the Benadryl I felt very loopy( not such a bad feeling after it taking about 15 mins and several stabs at my veins to get an IV started lol). I have extremely bad veins,so it is par for the course when I need a IV or blood drawn. Three sticks is a charm! LoL
I’m not gonna lie, but it was a little strange being back in the infusion suite. But I gotta do what I gotta do to keep myself healthy from now on. For once in the infusion suite I was the old kid on the block and had experience unfortunately of already undergoing my chemo. I did speak to a woman who is there for her second treatment and try to encourage her to hang in there that she would definitely get through all this, just as I have and will continue to do.
Now they did warn me that I could have some flu like symptoms and joint pain. Boy they were NOT kidding!!!! Hello some joint pain??? The pain is in my hips,upper thighs, feet and hands and is unbearable. Also a thumping headache to boot. Oh and i cant forget to mention the nausea started at 3am last night. And a thirst i cant quench, did someone mention a cocktail before lol??? (Sorry about the little bitch fest but it feels great to get it off chest, or at least what is left of it lol)
I called my doctor’s first thing when I woke and they give me a narcotic to help take the edge off the pain and some Pepto to calm my stomach both seem to be helping for now.
I feel like as my journey with BC goes on I have developed a sensitivity to more and more medications. This is what has me so confused why is this happening. Has the chemo changed the physiology of my body? Is it me or has this happened to anyone else???
Sooooooooooooo, I find myself once again back at the doctor’s office for another issue. I mean seriously does this crap ever stop??? Today’s issue is pain in my tail bone. I literally have a pain in the ass! I blame myself for putting this off for about 10 months but, I’ve been kind of busy with my hysterectomy and the second breast cancer scare. I’m sick of going to the doctor’s office if you know what I mean.
Yesterday I finally got to my wit’s end and couldn’t take the pain anymore. No matter if I’m walking standing or sitting, well especially sitting .I am in so much pain there is nothing I have found that gives me any sort of relief.Of course in my mind the Big C is to blame for all of this. I keep wondering if the chemotherapy could have done something to my bones? Could possibly could a metathesis somewhere else my body? Of course with my luck it has come back in my ass, as if it wasn’t big enough as it is lol !!!!I know this might sound crazy but it’s very real to me.
You have to see my chair at work I’m at the point were I have an orthopedic pillow and two doughnut gel filled pillows .
The pillows are so high up I actually have to hop onto my chair to get on! I just know people walking by me think i have a RAGING case of hemrroids lol!
This may be a pea, but my pillows are just as high!!
Today I found myself back at the hospital having several x-rays of my tailbone taken.They said I have a nice sacrum, “why thank you I said”. I have to say I have never been compliment on that body part before lol. I hope and pray in the end (haha get it ,in the end ) everything will be okay. I have a feeling I will end up having an MRI. I will be interesting having the other end of my body scanned for a change! Next stop seems to be pain management…
WHEN WILL I BE FREE OF WORRY AND PAIN? I JUST WANT IT TO STOP. IS THAT TO MUCH TO ASK?
What to do, what to do???
This is what unconditional love looks like! No matter how sick I am or how sad I get he is there to love me no matter what. Puppy love is the best kind of love!!